This week on the Soul-Ties Podcast we answer a letter from someone whose boyfriend broke up with her, because he wasn't ready for commitment...only to end up ENGAGED to someone else...Now...they are back together and she has no idea where THEIR relationship is going.
I didn’t just end up in toxic relationships, I was shaped in them. It wasn’t enough to just identify and remove myself from those who hurt me in relationships. I had to understand why I desired love from people who would never love me the way I deserved.
Shared and Co-parenting is HARD, especially in the beginning after the fall out of the break-up or divorce. Native to the environment of shared parenting is the continuous presence of two adults at odds with each other. There is a mental and emotional defensive mode that is turned on, while trying to accommodate the shared child(ren)'s need for both parents. In addition there is residual hurt, anger, resentment and the need for healing that must also be addressed. All of that is wrapped in an anxiety equivalent to the feeling of walking into a lion's cage every time you're around the Ex. This anxiety gets even worse when the animal in the cage is a Narcissist.
We’ve seen hundreds, if not thousands, of articles and blog posts that detail all of the signs that we are dating or married to a narcissist. While many of these articles help you understand your hurt, NONE of them truly prepare you for life after a narcissist.
...When I tried to ask him about our future, what would change THIS time that would guarantee he wouldn't hurt me again, he changed...again. Suddenly I was a monster, a cheater, a liar and a manipulator. Suddenly I was no longer worth fighting for...again. And now all I can do is be disappointed with myself because I did it again...I let him back in...and it hurts.